Growing pains...

So the other day at work the girls and I were sitting around chatting about all the random and traumatizing things we all went through as young girls. It all started when I said something about how I am kind of excited for all the lovely things I get to share with my daughter. Teaching her how to do her make-up, doing her hair, shoe shopping, etc. And then of course things took a turn another direction and we all began to laugh hysterically about all the horrible things we dealt with. Getting our period, acne, boys, boobs, bra's, that maturation program in 5th grade, pubic hair, hair in all sorts of weird places, shaving, boys some more. We even got into it about the way our parents talked to us about sex or in some cases didn't talk to us about sex. (My parents were always pretty open, but I never seemed to have the right questions to ask to get all the dirt) We then of course found our way into the lovely art of giving birth, which is the final resting place for our lovely little youthful bodies. I just have to say this, being a female is a seriously rough job.

So let's back up. 5th grade, I'll skip maturation because I don't remember feeling like it was awkward, more that I had to convince myself to feel awkward because all the kids felt awkward.  But I do have a memory of 5th grade that was one of many moments that shaped my youth. It was Valentines Day Dance time, and we had to fill out dance cards. My teacher was very specific that we were NOT to fill out our cards in advance, we had to wait until we were in the gym to fill them out, after the boys had asked us. So of course I wrote in the boys names that I was  secretly hoping would ask me, very lightly in pencil. Which my light pencil seemed to turn into a neon sign. My teacher came at me like a tractor beam. And I was sent back to the classroom, to sit there by myself, and made an example of in front of the entire 5th grade. The next year of course was the first year my soccer team attended a tournament over Presidents Day in Phoenix, so I then missed every single Valentines Day dance for the remainder of my school days. 

I am thinking it was either 5th or 6th grade when the training bra came into my life. I still have this little bra, if you want to call it a bra, in a box in storage in my basement of little keepsakes I've kept along the way. I have memories of this little bra, which is more like two tiny little triangles, probably an inch in size, with a yellow flower in the middle, which was probably bigger then my actual boobs at the time, crawling up to my neck. I was so embarrassed to wear it, I hated it. The adjusting, the straps showing through my t-shirt, oh lord what if someone noticed. But even more ugly were the little marble size breasts that were growing underneath all this bra trauma. UGH! I get that men love boobs, but growing them is sure a pain in the ass.

Then came 7th grade. A girl started a rumor that I started a rumor in gym class that another girl was stuffing her bra. Which was SO not true. I hated boobs, I felt bad for anyone who had to have them, why would I start a rumor that someone was trying to have BIGGER boobs! Oh lord help her. The drama, which now makes for a funny story about Jr High drama. 

Also in 7th grade I got my fated period. Aunt Flo, "that time of the month", you name it, it's horrible. Listen to this story...So I had this boyfriend, as real as a boyfriend can be in 7th grade. We used to sit outside for lunch every day. Well this day I was wearing overalls to school, and they happened to be acid washed almost to the point of being white, overalls. ugh. Well after lunch was social studies, with Mrs. Grasshopper, (which isn't her real name, but she was old and mean, and looked like a gray haired grasshopper). In this class we had to sit in alphabetical order. And the kid who came after me was the meanest kid, he tortured the hell out of me all of Jr High and High School. So of course the teacher was very strict, no talking, no blinking, no breathing really. So I got up to get something from the front of the class. Well I guess good old Aunt Flo decided to pay me my first visit at lunch earlier that day, little did I know how or what was going on. And when I stood up the horrible boy behind me yelled outloud, "look everybody, Annie has a hole in the butt of her pants" Well kids that was NOT a hole, but a horrible showing to the entire world that I was officially a woman! UGH! So I asked every girl I knew for a jacket to tie around my waist, nothing. I tried the idea of flipping my overalls down to cover it, didn't work. I finally took a school book and held it over my butt. Then went and asked Mrs. Grasshopper if I could go to the office and call my mom. To which she gave me a freakin' quarter and told me I could go use the payphone! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME! She must've not been human. Oh the trauma of that day! Now my mom had sort of talked to me about this whole period business, so I kind of knew what was going on. But at the same time, I really had no idea what is was actually going to be like.  I'll spare you the story about learning to use a tampon vs a pad. That will be for another day, but every girl on the planet has dealt with this or will deal with it. And it's just unpleasant all the way around. We don't love the moodiness, the bitchiness, the cramps, the irrational thinking anymore then the men in our lives do trust me. 

Jr High is simply just a rough time in all of lives. The one thing that I can say is this, we survived it. We didn't think we would, but we did. Some better the others, but we made it out alive at least. The good news is that once your get to your adulthood, you can hopefully look back and giggle about all the horrible random things you had to deal with during puberty. And hopefully, even more important, we can remember a small glimpse of what we went through so we can help our children deal with it. I hope I can at least. I hope that when my daughter calls me from school or somewhere and tells me she has her period, I can be understanding, and only start laughing after I hang up the phone with her...hehe.

I could go on with funny stories, figuring out my body was rough. Choices you make at this young age when you think you are so old & mature & ready to take on the world, and you aren't. You have no idea how precious and short this time in your life will be. 

I have spent some time in my life wishing I looked a certain way, weighed a certain amount, fit in a certain size, but as I am about to turn 30, (in 3 weeks) I have come to the conclusion that its time to just embrace the body I have, the weight I'm at, the clothes that fit me now, and work it! You only live once, and life is too short to spend wishing on the past. Going forward is really the best move you can make in life. The best thing we can do is learn from our past, learn from our little funny stories, and become better people, better partners, better parents, better children, better friends. It really is the best way to go, in my opinion. 

I'll write more one of these nights when I have something to say. 

Cheers! 

My thoughts!

It's been a bit since I updated this blog. Being a mom will do that to you. Well that's not exactly true, I have several friends who blog, and do it well. I have just need to get on top of things I guess. I have an old friend who has recently come back into my life, and she suggested I start a blog, and put all my crazy stories down. Well I had this one set up, but haven't spent much time with it, so here I go...my attempt to be more on top of the blog world. 

And here I sit ready to type my little heart out, and I go blank. I can't believe it! I make time for this, and nothing.  Strange. I am not a person who has little to say, but this is more an issue of where to start. I always have 10 things circulating around in my mind, but now that I want to put something out, nothing! 

Ok, so here we go. I am going to in fact tell a story about the very friend that suggested I start a blog. She was my first best friend in my life. We lived across the street from one another until we were in Jr. High I believe. She was a girl I have a lot of memories of, not all good. We spent all our time together as kids. Or so it seemed. I have funny memories of little random things we used to talk about, compete over, or little sayings we used to share. For example, we used to say "you're dead o meat squat", which really as a line from Karate Kid, when the blond guy is fighting the kid, and says "that don't mean squat". I like dead o meat myself. We used to both have matching Strawberry shortcake dolls, and for some reason hers always smelled more like strawberries then mine did! There are times when she would have me sit in her yard and watch her little sister so she could run down the street and play with the boys. Or how when we started 7th grade she acted so proud of me for wearing mascara! 

However one of the best, classic moments of our friendship came the summer after 6th grade. I love this story. It could seriously be a scene in a movie. Amazing! This really cute boy lived down the street from us, and I had a major crush on him. Well this boy happened to share a birthday with my friend, and so they always acted as if they were brother and sister. So this little friend of mine had her own room in the basement of her parents house. One day she got this brilliant plan to have this boy come over to her house, and sit in her bedroom closet while she talked to me about how much I liked him. So think about how you felt as a 6th grader, and how having a crush on anyone of the opposite sex was so tragic. Well this was definitely a classic moment in destroying my hopes of ever having this boy even talk to me. So it was all set up, and she sends me down to her room. She was getting something upstairs. I however happened to be a very nosey kid, and for some reason opened her closet door to snoop around. Well I found the boy, and the whole plan fell apart. And to top it all off, this friend of mine was so pissed at me for snooping through the closet that it actually became the issue. More then the fact that she was about to humiliate me in front of this boy! 

Well time has passed, we are now both mothers! Our lives have gone very different directions. And then one day she found me on Facebook of all places. This girl has been through more in her life then I could imagine. We have reconnected and I am very happy to have her back in my life. She has a blog where she has basically journalled her life for the past few years. And believe me the things this woman has experienced and lived through are amazing. I think we can all say we've been through a few things at this age in our lives, but this friend of mine really has. I can't say that I would've been able to handle these trials like she has. I really admire this girl. And on top of that am feeling very blessed to have her back in my life. There is a time and a reason for everything that happens to all of. And I think that all the funny little things we went through together as kids, were just the beginning of the memories we'll have together. I guess it really is fair to say, and very possible that you can meet your best friend at the age of 4. Who knew!? 

I will say this, I am very happy to have you back in my life girl! And I am very happy that your have such a beautiful life. Your husband is amazing. Your son is a dream. And I know Ms. Hazel has had a hand in all of it! Much love to you!