I was having one of my usual chats on the phone with my dad the other day...My dad loves to chat about things, about the most recent show he saw on history channel, or politics, or soccer, or whatever he's into at the moment. I love it! I always learn something new, and most of the time I feel like I may have taught him something. Or at least given him some insight on the way I view the world. So let me give you a little back story to start...
I have a 3 year old son & just had a baby girl in April. Pre-parent life for me was, well, there was nothing I did in my life that would lead any person, primarily my dad, to believe that I had any desire to be a parent. Then came my son, and I became "my mother", which is a compliment. I love being a mom more then anything ever! I love my babies, I have extreme tunnel vision for these two, my whole world revolves around them. I do my best to observe my kids, to learn their behavior, and really I just want to figure out what makes them tick. And in turn I guess I am hoping this will lead me to be a better parent. At least to be the best parent I can be that is.
Back to the conversation with my dad...we were talking about the state of the economy, which then turned to our thoughts on what we think the world is going to be like for my kids as they grow up. How much a gallon of gas will cost, and so on. This then headed into discussion on "kids today!" and how they are so different from when my dad was a kid, and even when I was a kid. I of course have to share my two cents on this...
I have a friend who has a son who from what I have observed is a wild child. No rules, no bedtime, no discipline, I could go on. And my advice to this friend was "if you don't give you child rules, the cops will." It seems to me that with each generation we are getting more and more lazy. We have less and less respect for eachother and everything around us. "I wonder" if in the effort to make "life better for our kids" we've become so spoiled, that all hell has broken loose?
My grandparents were hard working, depression era, money saving, more like penny pinching, hard fisted disciplinarians. My parents were similar, not as hard, but I still had the fear, and I knew my limits always. And now...well just turn on the MTV, take a look at My Sweet 16. These kids are having 16 year old birthday parties that cost 100's of thousands of dollars, and act as if they deserve it, like their simple existence deems them worthy of such spending. And for my own peace of mind I have to hope that this is all simply just an effort for their parents to "give their kid what they didn't have." But in the process, what are they teaching our kids? How to waste a ton of money? That spending money is what you do to be better then the next guy?
A few weeks ago, we were leaving a friends house, and across the street we witnessed a fight between what appeared to be a single mother and her son(s). The boy called his mom every name in the book, was throwing things at her, pushed her, I'll spare you the details. This kid had to be in high school, and was bigger then her. But instead of standing her ground, showing him that she was in charge, I heard with my own ears a response that still makes me sick. Instead of calling the cops, which is what I would've done, she basically gave the kid reason to do it again. She went on and on about how she was a bad mother, and must deserve it! Are you effing kidding me?!?! Just ask the kid to punch you in the face next time!
I love the concept of giving our kids a better life then we had, but at the same time, maybe the rules, and the little bit of fear we had with our parents weren't such a bad idea. Maybe it would be wise if parents would step up and invest more time in their kids, be a thorn in their side, be aware of what these kids are doing. Give our kids rules, bug them about what they do, where they go, make it our business, even though they wish it wasn't. We made these kids, and the best way to give these kids a better life is to raise them to be hard working, obedient, thoughtful adults.
I'll get off my soapbox for tonight...peace out!
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